From Plate to Post: When Social Media Eats Our Experiences

A few evenings ago, I had the pleasure of taking a treasured person in my life out for a celebratory birthday dinner. I picked a lovely restaurant, with the plan to indulge in some tasty food and even better conversation. We definitely got the “good food” part, in fact it was incredible and faultless—but what we were not expecting is a digital performance with dinner!

I am not usually a busy body at restaurants or any other venue. Frankly, I prefer to mind my own business and focus on the person or persons I am attending the restaurant with. However, this time, even private old me could not help but stare. Come on, we are all human right and there are limits are there not? Before judging me, let me explain.

That night, amidst the clinking of cutlery and the aroma of exquisite dishes, there was a couple on the table opposite us that captured our attention for all the wrong reasons. Let's just say they were very dedicated to their online presence. Forget candlelight ambiance; they brought their own spotlight, courtesy of the flashlights on each of their mobile phones. Each dish was a co-star in their meticulously crafted social media production alongside endless selfies of the social media photographers themselves. It was like watching a social media photography masterclass, live and unrequested.

Honestly, at first, it was just a bit… distracting. But after a while, we kind of leaned into it as a form of entertainment. Dinner theatre if you like, but with almost no dialogue and a lot more phone-fiddling. We got to witness the art of the perfect food (and human) angle, the subtle glow of the phone light, the movement of the dinner table lights gradually further and further higher up above their table to add more lighting to each video recording and photo. On one hand, I admired the sheer dedication required to curate the perfect online moment. On the other hand, I was utterly bemused with the spectacle.

Once the “show” was over (aka, they finally left), we resumed our usual easy-flowing conversation indulging in foodie heaven. It was the kind of genuine, unplugged connection we were hoping for that the people we witnessed did not seem to care or even realise that they were missing out on.

Call me a grandma but what we witnessed firsthand is just one of many examples of the subtle erosion of genuine human interaction caused by the need to share everything online. It was not just about taking a picture for one’s own memory’s sake; it was about transforming a shared experience by a beautiful looking couple into a digital spectacle, a performance for an unseen audience. It begs the question: are most people today living for the ‘likes’ or are we living for the moment?

Studies have shown that excessive social media use can lead to feelings of isolation and decreased well-being. A 2018 study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology found a direct correlation between reduced social media usage and decreased feelings of loneliness and depression (Hunt, Marx, Lipson, & Young, 2018). Similarly, research from the University of Pennsylvania indicated that limiting social media use to 30 minutes a day can lead to significant improvements in well-being (Faulhaber, Lee, & Gentile, 2023).

We need to recognise the delicate balance between digital connection and authentic presence. While social media can connect us, it can also create an undeniable disconnect in the moment.

 We can all consciously choose to put down the phone and truly engage with the world around us, to savour the taste of food, the warmth of laughter, the depth of conversation and just be okay with, well, just being yourself with or without approval online.

Next time you are out for dinner, ask yourself: Am I capturing this memory or truly experiencing it? Are my eyes fixated on the screen or the people in front of me? Let’s reclaim our moments and conversations by unplugging. Remember, the best experiences are shared, not posted online. We need to all lean into enjoying genuine connections without the need for a spotlight.